Eva Oh, known globally as Mistress Eva, doesn’t just talk about power; she lives it, shapes it, and teaches it. With more than a decade of experience as a dominatrix, writer, and cultural commentator, Eva’s work dismantles clichés about BDSM and redefines what it means to be in control. Her presence is magnetic, equal parts warmth, intellect, and quiet authority.

From performance spaces and lecture halls to intimate one-on-one encounters, she transforms dominance into dialogue. Through her podcast #teakink and appearances at festivals and galleries worldwide, Eva brings conversations about desire, consent, and identity into the open, and does so with unapologetic precision.

Her journey, which began after leaving a corporate career in 2011, has taken her across Asia, Australia, and Europe, and earned her the Sexual Freedom Award for her contribution to sex-positive discourse. GATA sits down with Eva as she reflects on the politics of sex work, the myths surrounding power, and the peace she’s found within herself. Because with Eva Oh, power is not just about control, but also about clarity, compassion, and the courage to look deeper.

GATA: Hey EVA! Thank you for joining us today. Before we get into your world of power and performance, what’s been bringing you joy lately?

EVA: Thank you for having me! Such a cute question to start. I find a lot of joy from my play space, which I spend a lot of time in and am sitting in right now. Just to have it, with the elements I've brought in together, torture chairs from Germany, images of me absolutely everywhere, everything exactly where I want, brings me great peace. But that said, I'm also really looking forward. I am heading to Southeast Asia in just a week, and I'll be there for a couple of months. I’ll see my family and eat so well. Also, I'm going to the Bangkok Fetish Ball and get to see my community there, really in full regalia. It'll be fun. So that's a really sweet question. Thank you.

GATA: For those who may not know you, could you briefly introduce yourself and tell us how your journey into domination began?

EVA: I am Eva Oh, otherwise known as Mistress Eva. I am a dominatrix. And how I got here was that about 15 years ago, I decided that I could not do my job in strategic consulting anymore. It drained my soul, and I needed to do something far more aligned with my values. I googled this word that people had been throwing at me for a few years, but I had no concept of what the dominatrix or fetish was. They just kind of saw it in me because I was assertive, which is also another conversation, I guess, because assertive woman equals dominatrix. I mean, in my case, yes, but no. So yeah, that's sort of how things got kicked off.

GATA: You’ve lived and worked across Asia, Australia, and Europe. What does “returning to Asia” mean to you at this point in your journey?

EVA: I will be returning to Asia as a base from early next year, and I think that it's been really useful being in London, where a big bulk of the kink community is at least in an "out" sort of way. I had to get up in the mix of things and be able to collaborate. But I am a little burned out, haha, and I am going back home, really. I'm from Southeast Asia, and I am really looking forward to being around those kinds of interactions again and the culture that I am originally used to. That is still probably on a day-to-day level the most comfortable for me, so I'm looking forward to feeling more grounded.

That said, I did choose Thailand because it's more liberal than where I was initially born, and they do have a kink scene that is more “out,” also comparatively to the rest of Southeast Asia. I'm really excited because I can't wait to see what they've been up to and align with whoever would be interested to align, and just feel comfortable again in a lot of ways. At this point in my journey, journey ain't over yet.

GATA: After more than a decade in domination, how has your understanding of “power” evolved, both professionally and personally?

EVA: Hmm, I didn't really even think about it before I entered this job. I just kind of waded through life, having my joys, finding curiosities. But I think that, especially in being a sex worker, it has taught me where people in society position sex workers and why they might do that.

They're not necessarily interested in the voice of a sex worker. They're interested in relegating them to the space designated by the powers that be, which helps them further that system by internalizing it and upholding that feeling of power within themselves, even though it's a facade. They're attempting to flex a sense of superiority in a system where they are also downcast.

It's been an interesting politicization of my worldview. It's revolutionized me in a lot of ways. It's woken me up to a lot of systems by being in a position that people just try to shit all over. And I charge a lot of money these days, which brings people with a lot of wealth my way. It's been interesting to see what these groups with great power and access are in. They can make things happen and escape systems with their wealth, but they're often complete idiots, and it's often just a byproduct of their family, right place, time, color of skin, and language spoken. So, I guess it has just shown me the injustices that are inherent to the way a lot of structures are currently.

It's taught me a lot, not necessarily about the session space, but about my place in the world and the people in it. In terms of my personal relationship to power, I've always been lucky. I've had the power of peace and groundedness within me and an analytical view on my place and the world. That has helped me not succumb to systems, and I've always had that power. So, it's a slightly different definition that has enabled me to move to a place where I can also access those other systems of power and try to work them to my advantage. Work in progress…

GATA: You mentioned wanting to create a “brave and safer space” away from corporate interests. What do you think gets lost when conversations about sexuality are filtered through a commercial lens?

EVA: I think in general, when we're desperate to feel a sense of survival, truth gets lost, and to me, truth means questioning what realities can be, what our desires or values might actually be. What gets lost when conversations about sexuality are filtered through that desperation? People become desperate to comply, to toe the line, and it limits the potential of knowing that truth. There's also great power in being friendly with our erotic selves, in learning compassion for this raging, vulnerable space within us, which I think is what the erotic is: a lack of a full life and a sense of desperation on our deathbed.

GATA: Your work often reframes dominance as a form of emotional intelligence. What does emotional literacy look like in a power exchange?

EVA: Hmm, your questions are very good. I think that without a genuine curiosity and emotional literacy, power exchanges are easily exploitative for everybody involved. Everyone can get carried away, and it becomes destructive and non-beneficial. It's very easy for all hell to break loose.

But if you do have the emotional literacy to see where power is taking your journey in the exchange, and where it's taking the person in front of you, there are greater possibilities for play. You can spot corners that might otherwise be deadened by a rush of power or desperation to experience its overwhelm. There are opportunities for play and a more stable social exchange that can benefit people. I think it's something that's very easy to get carried away with, and it's also applicable on a wider lens outside of a power exchange or a session. It’s tied to a broader lens as well.

GATA: How do you balance performance and authenticity in a role that’s often misunderstood as pure theatre?

EVA: What is wrong with pure theater? Also, what is pure theater? Any successful theater, whether it’s two people in a room, to the self, or on a stage, requires understanding the audience and the self. So, I don’t know if there’s anything wrong with pure theatre or if there even is theatre devoid of authenticity. A performance can be devoid of depth, but then you’re not going to get a great result.

So what does performance look like versus performance with actual engagement on my part? I don’t really think about it. It’s a natural art to how I interact. It’s always a fairly stable me, even if sometimes I have to push into being more engaged than I want to be. Sometimes we’re not feeling it. But I enjoy the art of the exchange. I limit my time engaging in it so that it stays unique and I can still appreciate doing the art, which I didn’t have the luxury of earlier in my career.

If we’re talking about the craft in general, to actually do theater or performance requires a real part of you. I don’t know if those things, performance and authenticity, are separate.

GATA: You’ve said that BDSM can teach us about leadership and communication. What can the corporate or creative world learn from the dungeon?

EVA: I do these mentoring calls, and artists, people from hedge funds, and even lawyers have contacted me, something I didn’t expect when I first launched them. I assumed most inquiries would come from people in the sex industry. But what these people have spotted in me, in BDSM, and in my capacity within it, is an ability to hold space that they want for themselves. That’s why they reach out: they want to know how to carry themselves as I carry myself in the spaces they work in.

A lot of this is inherent, but it’s also been refined by my craft. Leadership and communication are built into BDSM. You have the basics: negotiation, understanding ourselves, bringing that to the table, being more honest about our desires, setting shame aside so everyone can find fulfillment. That negotiation process is helpful for anyone.

For the people calling me, it’s often about being comfortable in their own being and learning how to bring that forward. There’s no fast way to teach that, but I try to recognize what’s true in them and tell them to become friendly with that understanding of themselves. For me, it’s about friendliness to who we are, a care and love for what we can bring to the table. Leaders come in many approaches, and it’s about harnessing what is and standing with it unapologetically. When I work with people, it’s case by case, but these are the things that seem useful across the board.

GATA: Dominance, especially from women and queer folk, often challenges mainstream narratives about control. How do you see dominance redefining femininity and authority?

EVA: It didn't really have a natural part of discourse when it came to a femme-presenting person, and it still doesn't necessarily because people still use those words on me, even without the context of me being a dominatrix.

How do I see dominance redefining femininity and authority? How do I see femme assertiveness being accepted or seen as an authority as opposed to bossing? Yeah, I don't give a shit. Not that I don't give a shit about the question; it's that I don't take that under my perception. I try to exist as I am, let people define that as they need to, and get what I want from the situation at hand. If mainstream narratives can be changed by my existence, perhaps that’s a question I can answer.

I don't know if it matters to be redefining femininity. It matters to me to exist in my complexity and for my femme-presenting aspect to be an aspect of that, not something I need to justify. Hope that answers it in some way. Why I do interviews, get in front of a camera, or am on social media, it’s important to just be. I am complex; my version of domination is not the same as the next, and my version of sex work is not the same as the next. More examples of variety, variance, nuance to personality we can see, the better, perhaps.

GATA: BDSM is frequently portrayed through fantasy or sensationalism. What are the biggest myths you still find yourself having to dismantle?

EVA: Women’s mags ask me a lot of tips and tricks sort of things. It’s always really basic. I don’t even know if it’s having to dismantle rather than people not understanding how deep it can go.

But to be honest, people are just quite happy living a shallow version of everything, including sexuality. I enjoy the depth of what BDSM, power dynamics, fetishes, kink, the erotic can bring to life. It’s starting to become understood by me that it’s just not everyone’s thing, that people are generally happier living the shallow version on average. So, I don't know if it's a myth rather than an understanding.

The last time I would feel shocked by questions, it would be things like, “Oh, why do you hate men?” I think I hate the patriarchy. I hate the way it’s okay for men to express themselves. But I don’t hate the client walking in the door. I empathize with where they’re at, and I make sure they compensate me for my energy, effort, time. I don’t hate men, and if you’re going to hate them, you would not function in this job. Another one is like, “Oh, it’s all about pain.” Again, people are not thinking about what pain is, what it can represent. Some people don’t want that element at all; they just want the power exchange. But if you look into things, there can be pain in the surrender, in the tension of giving up control of real life.

People are just not looking. It’s maybe more of a realization for me rather than surprise at what they ask. I don’t know how many are genuinely interested other than general titillation. They’re mostly curious about how I am able to be free, and why they are not. Maybe that’s the bigger question, whether they know it or not.

GATA: Do you think cultural background shapes how people interpret or engage with BDSM? How has moving between continents shaped your own approach to power and play?

EVA: Having been born in one place, having a background from many different places, and moving around a hell of a lot, I think that has helped me not judge things so quickly, understand that my truth is not the only truth, be curious about what systems can be, be adaptable, and be open. That’s been a great strength from moving between continents. It allowed me freedom to sit more comfortably in my power, perhaps less dictated by the way things “should” be.

In terms of play, adaptability necessitates play because when you're switching between languages (some of them that you're shit at), you've got to take things not so seriously. Just try, be silly, see different ways of being a different character, and just be as fluid with that as possible. Those things have helped me try on a lot of different hats and ways of being until I found a few that really ground and fit.

But how does cultural background shape how people interpret or engage with BDSM? I mean, everything shapes how people interpret or engage with BDSM, whether somebody told them no, whether somebody told them yes as a child, whether the country you're in legislates for or against freedom of expression. It’s hard to say this input gets that outcome, but our approach to a moment, to life, to BDSM, is a product of everything we’ve ever encountered. Do I believe that more restrictive authoritarian systems of control, kind of cultures, amount in greater explorations of smashing those systems? Within rigidity or within rules and systems like BDSM, possibly, which is maybe why we see such great popularity in structured places like Germany or Japan, and vibrant explorations of the structure of BDSM within those. Perhaps. :)

GATA: Your work has been archived at Bishopsgate and immortalised in a Sardax portrait inspired by Guan Yin, a powerful symbol of compassion. How do you see spirituality and sexuality intersecting in your work?

EVA: Maybe I'll take you through how that portrait came to be. Somebody commissioned Sardax to do a portrait of me, and he goes through this interview process to figure out what that’s going to be. I never said I wanted Guan Yin, but I was describing my relationships to different slaves, a few very physically present ones, and then thousands almost like spirits who are available to me, in awe of me, and support the system of me. Then, he kind of took it to the Guan Yin thing. I don't think he knew about my meditation practice, not that I do anything necessarily Buddhist. Mine is more removed from religious practices.

How does spirituality and sexuality intersect in my work? Some people call me goddess, haha. For me, if I'm going to define spirituality just so I can answer with more structure: spirituality is seeing life as something wider than your individual experience and believing that informs the course of your individual experience. Do I think that wider thing informs my exploration of sexuality in my session work? I see more systems of power impacting my session space. I see the emotionality drawing from those systems, as well as the exchange between us, which is very interactive, the larger and the smaller.

Do I believe that I am spiritual? I don't discount that there are a lot of things I don't understand and know. Do I call that spiritual? No, but I think other people would probably say that about me. I think it can be a very powerful, life-changing experience because of the presence, the emotionality, the surrender, and the vulnerability required to exchange and interact with that space. The experience can feel spiritual, feel bigger than self, but it actually is self. Hopefully that answers that.

GATA: As a writer, filmmaker, and educator, how do you translate intimate, embodied experiences into words or visuals that others can access?

EVA: I work with good people, haha. On the filmmaking side, I’ve started producing a bit, but I’ve always been acting. My interaction is my art, so it’s about choosing the right people I trust to be in that space, see those moments, and bring them to life.

As a writer, it’s been really hard. Also because I just finished a manuscript, and that process was hell. Absolute hell. Don't know how people do it. But I blurted everything out and had good people give feedback. To make things accessible, I involve others as much as I can, letting them be part of the vision. I transmit it in rough form, then get people who want to accept it to help form the final piece.

The educator side is similar. I listen to what people are saying, start off, and ask them, “What do you actually want? What do you recognize?” My process is very much involved with the audience.

GATA: You’ve been called a “cultural commentator,” but do you see your work more as activism, art, or something else entirely?

EVA: I started off the whole work thing because I needed to work. I was feeding myself under the umbrella of capitalism. But over time, I’ve learned more about the world, and it’s probably a blend of seeking purpose, enjoying the creative process, and my art. My existence challenges systems, and existing openly like I do is activism in itself. The little artifacts I put out, podcasts, words, interviews, are activism, which can also be seen as art in how I engage with it. It's just all one bloody thing, isn't it: trying to make the most out of my existence.

GATA: You were honoured with a Sexual Freedom Award. How do you personally define “sexual freedom” today?

EVA: I think for me, my sexual freedom looks quite different on the surface from a day-to-day. I think my engagement with sexuality differs greatly for whatever reasons, but that ability to choose and recognize is how I experience my sexual freedom. I think that it's heavily aligned with freedom or a knowing of self and a peace with self. I think that's how I define it for me on an internal, sort of personal level.

GATA: If you were giving that award today, who or what would you celebrate for pushing sexual freedom forward?

EVA: Hmm, I’m not so clued in to the commentators of today. Maybe an influencer in the Western world creating conversations that can be taken elsewhere. But then, my brain also lights up for a program I recently heard of in Rwanda, teaching men about healthy masculinity, consent, and supporting people during childbirth, which has actually improved welfare. I guess for me, everything is far too interconnected, which is why I’m not the one giving awards, haha. Maybe that's what's happening here. On another level, I kind of feel like it’s also such a personal thing.

I really commend any individual bothering to read this interview or thinking about finding pleasure in the touch of their own body. I commend a lot of people, so I’d probably suck at being on the judging committee.

GATA: After years of navigating visibility and vulnerability in such an exposed profession, what does privacy mean to you now?

EVA: Well, I think I’ve always been pretty good at maintaining an internal world and spending a hell of a lot of time on my own, so my privacy hasn’t really felt compromised. Traveling and crossing borders can be more harrowing for my brain, but beyond that, it hasn’t changed much. Being femme in this world has never been easy; there’s a lot to navigate, like never having your house fully known, or not being able to live on the ground floor alone. Security has always been part of my life.

At the same time, I naturally gravitate toward transparency about my life. Maybe this is cultural, but I don’t feel like my experience is only my experience. It’s part of a larger whole that affects others in small or large ways. That doesn’t mean I share everything with everyone; there are many things I take care to protect because they could compromise my safety. But I do share my internal life quite freely, while understanding that it remains personal and nobody can take that away.

GATA: Do you have any sexy movies you can recommend us?

EVA: MINE! MINE!!! And then I have another one coming out that's going to be so good early next year, too. I have a few with Erika Lust right now, and the next one is "Independent." And then aside from mine, it depends on what you're into, right? When everybody asks me, "Oh, what's your favorite porn scene?" I always talk about that scene in "Under the Skin," where she's walking through this warehouse that she brings everybody back to, and everybody that she's sort of lured there melt into the floor and become globular forms that are still conscious. Like, that to me is hot, hahah. So, I guess it depends on the audience.

GATA: Lastly, is there a message you’d like to share with women, queer folk, or anyone exploring their own power and sexuality?

EVA: I mean, kudos to you, haha. The fact that you’re even consciously exploring it is amazing. I didn't consciously explore shit until even when I was joining the dungeon. I was just fumbling around in the bloody dark. A lot of the times, it’s not even a fully conscious decision; it’s a little flicker of knowing where you want to situate yourself, where you do situate yourself, or how you want to experience a range of your experience as a human. That’s something to be commended. Expose yourself to different concepts and people experiencing things in varied ways. Remember, it won’t necessarily be your way; this is a very individual experience that can shift with time, days, and moods. The mere fact that you’re conscious of it, that’s great. So, good for you.

INTERVIEW AND WORDS BY SEUNGHEE RYU

Between Silk and Chains: Mistress EVA on Power and Play