Eva Oh, known globally as Mistress Eva, doesn’t just talk about power; she lives it, shapes it, and teaches it. With more than a decade of experience as a dominatrix, writer, and cultural commentator, Eva’s work dismantles clichés about BDSM and redefines what it means to be in control. Her presence is magnetic, equal parts warmth, intellect, and quiet authority.

From performance spaces and lecture halls to intimate one-on-one encounters, she transforms dominance into dialogue. Through her podcast #teakink and appearances at festivals and galleries worldwide, Eva brings conversations about desire, consent, and identity into the open, and does so with unapologetic precision.

Her journey, which began after leaving a corporate career in 2011, has taken her across Asia, Australia, and Europe, and earned her the Sexual Freedom Award for her contribution to sex-positive discourse. GATA sits down with Eva as she reflects on the politics of sex work, the myths surrounding power, and the peace she’s found within herself. Because with Eva Oh, power is not just about control, but also about clarity, compassion, and the courage to look deeper.

GATA: Hey EVA! Thank you for joining us today. Before we get into your world of power and performance, what’s been bringing you joy lately?

EVA: Thank you for having me! Such a cute question to start. Joy, I find a lot of joy from my space, as in my play space, which I spend a lot of time in, and I'm sitting in right now. Just to be able to have it and to have the elements that I've brought in together, torture chairs from Germany, images of me absolutely everywhere, everything exactly where I want, brings me great peace. But that said, I'm also really looking forward. I am heading to Southeast Asia in just a week, and I'm going to be there for a couple of months, and I'm going to be able to see my family and eat so well. And I'm going to the Bangkok Fetish Ball, and I get to see my community there, really like in all full regalia. It'll be fun. So that's a really sweet question. Thank you.

GATA: For those who may not know you, could you briefly introduce yourself and tell us how your journey into domination began?

EVA: So, I am Eva Oh, otherwise known as Mistress Eva. I am a dominatrix. And how I got here was that about 15 years ago, I decided that I could not do my job in strategic consulting anymore. That it drained my soul, and I needed to do something that was far more aligned with my values. And I googled this word that people had been throwing at me for a few years. I had no concept of what the dominatrix or fetish was. They just kind of saw it in me because I was assertive, which is also another conversation, I guess, because assertive woman equals dominatrix. I mean, in my case, yes, but no. So, yeah, that's sort of how things got kicked off.

GATA: You’ve lived and worked across Asia, Australia, and Europe. What does “returning to Asia” mean to you at this point in your journey?

EVA: I will be returning to Asia as a base from early next year, and I think that it's been really useful being in London, where a big bulk of the kink community is at least in an "out" sort of way. I had to sort of get up in the mix of things and be able to collaborate. But I am a little burned out, haha, and I am going back home, really. I'm from Southeast Asia, and I am really looking forward to being around those kinds of interactions again and the culture that I am originally used to. That is still probably on a day-to-day level the most comfortable for me, so I'm looking forward to feeling more grounded. But that said, I did choose Thailand because it's more liberal than where I was initially born, and they do have a kink scene that is more “out,” also comparatively to the rest of Southeast Asia. And I'm really excited because I can't wait to see what they've been up to and align with whoever would be interested to align, and just feel comfortable again in a lot of ways. At this point in my journey, journey ain't over yet.

GATA: After more than a decade in domination, how has your understanding of “power” evolved, both professionally and personally?

EVA: Hmm, I didn't really even think about it before I entered this job. I just kind of waded through life, having my joys, finding curiosities. But I think that, especially in being a sex worker, it has taught me where people in society position sex workers and why they might do that.

So they’re not necessarily interested in the voice of a sex worker, they're interested in relegating them to the space as designated by the powers that be. And that can help them continue to further that system by internalizing it within themselves and upholding that feeling of power within them, even though it's a facade. They're attempting to flex a sense of superiority and power in a system where they are also downcast.

And so, I think that it's been an interesting politicization of my worldview. It's kind of revolutionized me in a lot of ways. It's woken me up to a lot of systems by being in a position that people just try to shit all over, basically. And on top of that, I charge a lot of money these days to access my services and that brings a lot of people who have a lot of wealth my way. It's also been interesting to see what these groups of people with great power and access are in, like they can make things happen, and they can escape systems with their wealth. But they're often complete idiots, and it's often just a byproduct of their family, their right place, right time, right color of skin, right language spoken. Yeah, so I guess it has just shown me, also, in terms of the injustices that are inherent to the way that a lot of structures are currently.

So it's just taught me a lot and not necessarily about the session space itself, but about my place in the world and the people who are in the world in general. But also, I think that my personal relationship to power, I think that I've always been quite lucky in that I've had the power of quite a sense of peace and groundedness within me and an analytical sort of view on my place and the world. I think that has always helped me not just succumb to systems as well, and I think that I've always had that power. So, I guess it’s a slightly different definition that has enabled me to sort of move to the world to a place, where now, I can also access those other systems of power and try to work them to my advantage. Work in progress…

GATA: You mentioned wanting to create a “brave and safer space” away from corporate interests. What do you think gets lost when conversations about sexuality are filtered through a commercial lens?

EVA: I think in general, when we're desperate to feel a sense of survival, truth gets lost, and I think truth to me means questioning of what realities can be, of what our desires or values might actually be. And what do I think gets lost when a conversation about sexuality is filtered through that desperation? Yeah, I think then people are desperate to comply, to Kao Tao, to toe the line, and think it just limits the potential of knowing that truth. I think also there's a great power to being actually friendly with our erotic selves in that we can learn compassion for this raging, like vulnerable space within ourselves, which I think is what the erotic is. And yeah, basically the lack of a full life, I think, and a sense of desperation on our deathbed.

GATA: Your work often reframes dominance as a form of emotional intelligence. What does emotional literacy look like in a power exchange?

EVA: Hmm, your questions are very good. I think that without it, without at least a genuine curiosity and emotional literacy, power exchanges are very easily exploitative for everybody involved. And I think that everybody can get carried away very easily, and it will probably be quite destructive and non-beneficial for everybody. I think it's very easy for all hell to break loose. But I think if you do have it, the emotional literacy and the ability to see where power is taking your journey in that exchange and to see where it's taking the person in front of you, there will be greater possibilities for play because you can spot corners where that might otherwise have been just deadened by your rush of power or desperation to experience its overwhelm. Yeah, I think there are opportunities for play. I think that there's probably just more of a stable social exchange that can benefit people. I think it's something that's very easy to get carried away with, and I think that this also has something that is applicable on a wider lens outside of a power exchange relationship or exchange in the accession sense. I think it's something that's tied to a wider lens also.

GATA: How do you balance performance and authenticity in a role that’s often misunderstood as pure theatre?

EVA: What is wrong with pure theater? Also, what is pure theater? I think that any successful theater, whether it is in a room with just two people or whether it's to the self or whether it's on a stage, requires a certain understanding of the audience and of self. And so I, don't know if there's anything wrong with pure theatre or if there is anything as theatre devoid of authenticity of some sort. I think that it can be a performance devoid of depth, in which case you're probably not going to get a great result.

So what does performance look like versus performance with actual engagement on behalf of the actor, as in me in this case? I don't really think about it. For me, it's quite a natural art to how I interact in general. It's always a fairly stable me, even if sometimes I feel like I have to push into being more engaged than I might really want to be, which might be the only times, you know, because it's work, and, you know, we don't always want to entirely be amongst our work environment. Sometimes we're not feeling it. But for the most part, for me, I really enjoy the art of the exchange. And I try to really limit my time engaging in it so that it's still unique enough or I still appreciate being able to do the art, which I know I didn't have the luxury to do earlier in my career, which is why I mentioned how, you know, not everybody really wants to turn up. But I guess if we're just talking about the craft in general, I think in order to actually do theater, performance, it requires a real part of you. So I don't know if those things are necessarily separate.

GATA: You’ve said that BDSM can teach us about leadership and communication. What can the corporate or creative world learn from the dungeon?

EVA: I do these mentoring calls, and artists have contacted me, people from like hedge funds have contacted me, lawyers have contacted me, and I didn't necessarily think that that was going to be a thing when I first launched these mentoring calls. A lot of people who were asking me for them were people in the sex industry. But I think what these people have spotted in me, in BDSM, in my capacity within BDSM, is an ability to hold space that they hope for themselves, and that's why a lot of them are contacting me.

They want to know how to carry themselves as I carry myself in the spaces that they are working within. And so I think a lot of it is... Is it inherent? I think it's probably inherent, but then it's also being refined because of my craft. I think that about leadership and communication. I mean, you have the basics, right, of BDSM, which is like negotiation. "Let's understand ourselves. Let's bring that to the table. Let's be a little bit more honest about our desires and set shame aside for our moments so that we can all find fulfillment." I think we have that negotiation process that's very helpful for anybody in general.

And then about leadership. I think for the people who are calling me, it's probably more about being comfortable in one's own being, and how do we bring that to the table. It is not necessarily a super fast way for me to go about telling these people how to do that, but I guess I try to recognize the things within them that I think are true. And I tell them to become friendly with that understanding of themselves.

I think for me, it's mostly about a friendliness to who we are and a care and a love of what that can bring to the table, becoming more familiar with what we can actually bring and empathizing and loving that ability to be able to do those things in whatever form it may be. I think that leaders can come in many different approaches, and it's about really harnessing just what is and standing with that in space, kind of unapologetically, that can make you a leader, perhaps. Yeah, it's always kind of on a case-by-case basis when I do these calls. But I think in general, maybe these are the some things that are just useful across the board.

GATA: Dominance, especially from women and queer folk, often challenges mainstream narratives about control. How do you see dominance redefining femininity and authority?

EVA: Hmm, I guess this kind of goes back a little bit to how people would always sort of see this assertiveness in me, and they would either call it bossy or find it intimidating or call me a dominatrix. So, it's like it didn't really have a natural part of discourse when it came to a femme-presenting person, and it still doesn't necessarily because people still use those words on me, even when they don't have the context of me being a dominatrix.

And how do I see dominance redefining femininity and authority? How do I see femme assertiveness, maybe, being accepted or being seen as an authority as opposed to bossing? Yeah, I don't give a shit, I think, is mostly my approach. Not that I don't give a shit about the question; it's mostly that I don't take that under my perception. I try to exist as I am, and I will let people define that as they need to, and I will get what I want from the situation at hand. But do I think maybe if mainstream narratives can be changed by my existence, perhaps is maybe a question that I can more answer.

Yeah, I don't know if it matters to be redefining femininity. Maybe it just matters to me to just exist in my complexity and for my femme-presenting aspect to be an aspect of that, as opposed to being something that I need to justify, I think is maybe what I can dig out of that question. Hope that answers it in some way. And I think, you know, why I do these interviews, why I do any interviews, why I get in front of a camera, why I'm on social media, and all of this, I think it's important to just be. I am complex, and my version of domination does not look the same as the next, and my version of sex work does not look the same as the next. And I think that is the more that more examples of variety, variance, nuance to personality that we can see, the better, perhaps.

GATA: BDSM is frequently portrayed through fantasy or sensationalism. What are the biggest myths you still find yourself having to dismantle?

EVA: So I want to think of mainstream media right now because a lot of the time people are not very educated these days, especially when they start talking to me, because they listen to podcasts and all this kind of thing.

But let's see, when they do come through and they have... what are the biggest myths? So a lot of women's mags ask me a lot of tips and tricks sort of things. And I guess it's always really, really basic, actually. Like I don't even know if it's having to dismantle rather than people not understanding how deep it can go. But to be honest, I think that's just also people's experience in general. I think a lot of people are just, you know, quite happy living a shallow version of everything, including sexuality. And so I think that I really enjoy the depth of what BDSM, power dynamics, fetishes, kink, the erotic can bring to, you know, what it can color life with. I think that it's starting to become understood by me that it's just not everyone's thing, that people are just generally much happier living the shallow version on great average, on average.

And so I don't know if it's a myth rather than an understanding that people are more comfortable in wading in shallow waters. The last time when I would feel shocked by questions, which people don't ask me so much anymore, (maybe this will change as I talk to even more mainstream press, which is kind of around the corner for me... so maybe ask me then), it would be things like, "Oh, why do you hate men?" Which is an interesting one. I think I hate the patriarchy. I hate the way that it's okay for men to express themselves.

But I don't hate the client walking in the door. You know, I empathize with where they're at, and I make sure that they compensate me for my energy, my effort, my time, and I'm happy with that exchange haha. But I don't hate men, and I think if you're going to hate them, you would really not function very well in this job. Another one, I guess, is like, "Oh, it's all about pain." And I think that, again, people are not thinking about what pain actually is; what it can represent. And actually, some people don't want that to be an element of anything. They just want the power exchange. But again, if you actually want to look into things, there can be pain in the surrender, in the tension of giving up that control of real life.

People are just not looking, and I think it's maybe more of a realization for me rather than any surprise at what these people are necessarily asking. Yeah, I don't know how many of them are actually genuinely interested, other than a general titillation. They're mostly curious about how I am able to be free, I think more than anything and why they are not basically. So I think maybe that's the bigger question, whether they know that that's what they're asking me or not.

GATA: Do you think cultural background shapes how people interpret or engage with BDSM? How has moving between continents shaped your own approach to power and play?

EVA: Having been born in one place, having a background from many, many different places, and moving around a hell of a lot, I think that has probably helped me not judge things so quickly, understand that my truth is not the only truth, be curious about what systems can be, just be adaptable, and be open. I think that's probably been a great strength that has kind of come from this moving between continents. And it allowed me freedom to sit more comfortably in my power, perhaps, that was less dictated by the way that things should be, quote unquote. And then in terms of play, I think that adaptability necessitates play for sure because you have to when you're switching between languages; some of them that you're shit at, you've got to take things not so seriously. Just try, just be silly, just like see different ways of being a different character and just be as fluid with that as possible. So I think that those things have helped me try on a lot of different hats and different ways of being until I sort of found a few different ones that really ground and fit.

But how does cultural background shape how people interpret or engage with? Do I think that it shapes how people interpret or engage with BDSM? I mean, everything. Everything shapes how people interpret or engage with BDSM, whether somebody told them no, whether somebody told them yes as a child, whether the country that you're in legislates things for or against freedom of expression. I think it's really hard to say that this input gets that outcome, but our approaches are, you know, our approach to a moment, to life, to BDSM is just going to be a product of everything, everything that we've ever had to encounter, that we've ever encountered.

But do I believe, you know, maybe to draw some sort of parallel? Do I believe that maybe some more restrictive authoritarian systems of control, kind of cultures, do they amount in greater explorations of smashing those systems? But again, within rigidity or within rules and systems like BDSM, possibly, which is maybe why we see such great popularity in structured, structured places like Germany or Japan. And we see vibrant explorations of, again, the structure of BDSM within those perhaps?? Perhaps :)

GATA: Your work has been archived at Bishopsgate and immortalised in a Sardax portrait inspired by Guan Yin, a powerful symbol of compassion. How do you see spirituality and sexuality intersecting in your work?

EVA: Maybe I'll take you through how that portrait came to be. So, somebody commissioned Sardax to do a portrait of me, and Sardax goes through this interview process in order to figure out what that's going to be. And I never said I wanted Guan Yin or anything like this, but I was sort of describing my relationships to the different slaves, how I had a few very physically present ones, and then I had thousands of almost like spirits who are available to me and in awe of me and kind of support the system of me. It was much more elaborate than that, but if you really want, there's an interview perhaps somewhere on his website. But that was kind of generally it. And he kind of took it to the Guan Yin thing. I don't think he knew about my meditation practice, not that I do anything necessarily Buddhist. Mine is a little bit more removed from the religious practices of things.

But how does spirituality and sexuality actually intersect in my work? Some people call me goddess, haha. But for me, do I think of things as spiritual? Okay, so if I'm going to define spirituality for me, just so that I can answer this question with more structure, I would say that spirituality is a process of seeing life as something wider than your individual experience and believing that that is what informs the course of your individual experience, I think is probably how I would define it on a banal level for me. So do I think that wider thing informs my exploration of sexuality in my session work? For me, I see more systems of power impacting upon my session space more so. And I see the emotionality drawing from those systems, as well as the exchange between us, which I think is very interactive anyway, the larger and the smaller. I think that's more something that I see as present.

Do I believe that I am spiritual? I don't discount that there are a lot of things that I don't understand and know. Do I call that spiritual? No, but I think that other people would probably say that about me, so maybe that's the wrong question for me in some ways, haha. I think that it can be a very powerful, life-changing experience because of the presence and the emotionality and the surrender and the vulnerability required in order to exchange and to interact with that space. And so I think that the experience can feel spiritual, feel bigger than self, but that it actually is self. So hopefully that answers that.

GATA: As a writer, filmmaker, and educator, how do you translate intimate, embodied experiences into words or visuals that others can access?

EVA: I work with good people, haha. As the filmmaking side of things, I've started producing a bit, but I've always been acting. And I think that my interaction is my art, so I don't really need to think about that so much. It's more about choosing the right people who I know and trust that can be with me in that space, that can see those moments and bring them to life. So, I think it's about good choices, seeing the potential and the particularities of other people, and making sure they're around you.

And then as a writer, it's been really hard. I mean, also because I just finished writing a manuscript, and that process was hell. Absolute hell. Don't know how people do it. But I just kind of blurted everything out and I, again, had good people give me a lot of feedback. For me, in order to make things accessible and be viewed by other people, I try to involve them as much as I can, so that they're on board as part of the vision. So, I am available; I be available. I just make sure that I am being as much as I can be of myself. And I transmit it in rough ass form, and then I get the people who want to accept it to help me form that final thing.

The educator thing also, I have sort of fallen into, but it's the same. I just sort of hear what people are saying. I'll start it off, and I'll ask them, "what do you actually want," you know, "what do you recognize?" So I think my process is very involved with the audience.

GATA: You’ve been called a “cultural commentator,” but do you see your work more as activism, art, or something else entirely?

EVA: I started off the whole work thing because I needed to work. I was feeding myself under the umbrella of capitalism. But over time, I have learned a lot more about the world, and I think that it's probably a blend of me seeking purpose, me enjoying the creative process of engaging with others, and my art. I think my existence is a challenge to systems that be, and even that alone is probably, and existing that way as openly as I am is also activism in itself. But then, you know, my little artifacts that I'm sort of putting out there in podcasts and words, in interviews, I see this as activism, which also could be seen on a level as art in the ways that I try to engage with it. It's just all one bloody thing, isn't it? It's trying to make the most out of my existence.

GATA: You were honoured with a Sexual Freedom Award. How do you personally define “sexual freedom” today?

EVA: I think for me, my sexual freedom looks quite different on the surface from a day-to-day. I think my engagement with sexuality differs greatly for whatever reasons, but that ability to choose and recognize is how I experience my sexual freedom. I think that it's heavily aligned with freedom or a knowing of self and a peace with self. I think that's how I define it for me on an internal, sort of personal level.

GATA: If you were giving that award today, who or what would you celebrate for pushing sexual freedom forward?

Hmm, I am not so clued in to the commentators of today. Let's see. Is there like an influencer in the Western world that is, you know, creating conversations that can then be taken elsewhere? But then, my brain also kind of lights up for this program that I've recently heard of. Where was it? Rwanda? Where they're teaching men about healthy, quote-unquote, masculinity, what consent is, how to consider taking people to the hospital when they're giving birth, and that this has actually resulted in a lot of improved states of welfare. And I guess for me, everything is just far too interconnected. That's why I'm not the one giving away these awards, haha. Maybe that's what's happening here. But I guess on another level I kind of feel like it's such a personal thing also.

I really commend any individual bothering to read this interview or thinking about finding pleasure in the touch of their own body. Like I commend a lot of people, so I would suck at being on the tree, maybe.

GATA: After years of navigating visibility and vulnerability in such an exposed profession, what does privacy mean to you now?

EVA: Well, I think I've always been pretty good at maintaining an internal world, and I also do spend a hell of a lot of time on my own. So, I don't really feel like my privacy has been compromised on that level. And also, I think that as a woman who has generally mostly traveled alone, lived alone in a lot of different environments, the level of vulnerability doesn't actually feel that different. That said, traveling and stuff can be a little bit more harrowing for my brain, but crossing borders. But aside from that, I don't feel like it has changed all so much. Being femme in this world has never been easy, and there's a lot that I've always had to navigate; never getting out exactly where your house is, never actually being able to live on the ground floor anywhere on my own, you know. So, there's a lot of security stuff that I've always had to think about anyway.

So privacy. I think I've always also gravitated towards more of a transparency about my life. Maybe this is also hugely cultural, but I don't necessarily feel like my experience is just my experience. I feel like it's something that is for everybody and that affects everyone on a small or large level or whatever, and that I am part of a whole. So, it doesn't mean like I'm sharing everything with everyone.

There's a lot of things that I take care of because I know it can compromise my safety. But, you know, my internal life I share quite freely, whilst also understanding that it's my own personal experience and nobody can ever really take that away. So, I think that's maybe me answering it, right, in a slightly different way.

GATA: Do you have any sexy movies you can recommend us?

EVA: MINE! MINE!!! And then I have another one coming out that's going to be so good early next year, too. I have a few with Erica Lust right now, and the next one is "Independent." And then aside from mine, it depends on what you're into, right? When everybody asks me, "Oh, what's your favorite porn scene?" I always talk about that scene in "Under the Skin," where she's walking through this warehouse that she brings everybody back to, and everybody that she's sort of lured there melt into the floor and become globular forms that are still conscious. Like, that to me is hot, hahah. So, I guess it depends on the audience.

GATA: Lastly, is there a message you’d like to share with women, queer folk, or anyone exploring their own power and sexuality?

EVA: I mean, kudos to you, haha. That you're even consciously exploring it is amazing, you know, because I didn't consciously explore shit until even when I was joining the dungeon. You know, I was just fumbling around in the bloody dark. And I think that a lot of the times it's also not necessarily a conscious decision, but that it's like a little flicker of you knowing that you're actually engaging with where you want to situate yourself, where you do situate yourself, or how you want to experience a range of your experience as a human. I think that's to be commended. And try to, I guess, be exposed to as many concepts and people experiencing things in different ways. Know that it's not going to be your way, because it's a very individual experience that can shift over time and days and moods. And that you're even conscious of it, like that is great. So, good for you.

INTERVIEW AND WORDS BY SEUNGHEE RYU

Between Silk and Chains: Mistress EVA on Power and Play