Horny, Horror & Crime: A V-DAY Playlist
Films that hit the spot whether you’re feeling in love, in lust, or a little murderous.
The most important part of the Valentines holiday is celebrating love, and to others, it's the half-price chocolate that comes the day after. Both lovers and haters of Valentine’s can agree, however, upon one thing: Movies. Whether it's setting THAT mood, or getting your mind off of it, we’ve got something for everyone.
So grab your partner, your chocolate, or your left hand, and enjoy some lawless, horror, or horny flicks.
Who said romance is dead?
T R U E R O M A N C E
Tony Scott (1993)
Stacked with one of the best lineups of actors to stunt the silver screen, True Romance, written by Quentin Tarantino is just ‘so cool.’
Through breathtaking cinematography and incredible dialogue, the film takes you on an engrossing journey of love on the run.
Comic-book nerd Clarence marries ex-hooker Alabama, steals cocaine, and then sells it around Hollywood. All while the original owners of the coke try to reclaim it.
“I haven’t killed anybody...since 1984.”
2. T H E L O V E W I T C H
Anna Biller (2016)
If Lana Del Ray had a biopic this is what we would imagine.
The Love Witch follows Elaine, a young witch in pursuit of love. A self-proclaimed love addict, she goes to great lengths to ensnare the man of her dreams - even at that expense of her sanity.
In this homage to the 1960 technicolor cinema, your eyes will be ever entertained.
“...And I found that power through witchcraft.”
3. F A T A L A T T R A C T I O N
Adrian Lyne (1987)
Fatal Attraction is one of the most influential erotic-psycho-thrillers of its time. Starring Michael Douglas and Glenn Close, the film follows the characters as they engage in a deadly extramarital affair.
“I’ll pity you... I’ll pity you. I’ll pity you because you’re sick.”
4. I N T H E R E A L M O F S E N S E S
Dir. Nagisa Oshima (1976)
Based on a true story, In the Realm of Senses can at times border straight pornography, yet its frank dealing of sexual freedom and obsession, in a time of rising imperialism in Japan make it a masterpiece. An uncompromising sexual odessey of two lovers, as they discover that without limits, passion can quickly turn into horror.
“A girl like you can stab a man’s heart without a knife, huh?”
5. M Y B L O O D Y V A L E N T I N E
George Mihalka (1981)
No Gata movie list is complete without a slasher film! My Bloody Valentine delivers the perfect recipe of teens cheesily dashing into their impending doom.
A Murderous, maniac, miner, thought to be an urban legend; exacts his revenge on the town by wreaking havoc on Valentine’s Day.
“HAHAHAHA. Sarah, be my bloody valentine.”
6. T H E S I L E N C E O F T H E L A M B S
Dir. Jonathan Demme (1991)
Released originally on February 14th, The Silence of the Lambs is the Quintessential Valentine’s Day tale. It can be argued that no other relationship depicted on this list is as intense as the relationship depicted between Hannibal Lector and Clarice Starling.
The story follows a young FBI cadet as she enlists the help of a cannibalistic serial killer, in locating another serial killer, who skins his victims. (The romantic edge involves a lotion rubdown before your skin is removed from you!)
“You won’t wake up in the dark ever again to that awful screaming of the lambs”
7. N E K R O M A N T I K
Jörg Buttgereit (1987)
A highway cleaner creates a twisted love triangle when he brings home a corpse to satiate his wife’s necrophilia fetish. Deeply disturbing, transgressive imagery paired with a strangely motivational soundscore, will have you questioning your life choices; yet truly epitomizes both the horny and horror themes of this list.
“What lives that does not live from the death of someone else?”
8. T H E L O V E D O N E S
Sean Byrne (2009)
The most twisted film on this list, The Loved Ones is a film sure to haunt you forever.
A young girl, Lola is rejected by her crush Brent for a date to the prom. Instead, her Daddy helps her in throwing her own special prom, where Brent and Lola can be together whether he likes it or not…
“I’m gonna go to your house now and stab your mummy just like you did my Daddy. Then I’m gonna go find Holly and stab her in the heart just like you did to me.”
9. L O V E
Gaspar Noe (2015)
Sex and nudity in mainstream media are usually used as a tool to sexualize women but it in this film it is integral to the building of the characters and emotions. (Hence the long unsimulated hand-job we are welcomed within the beginning of the film.) Love follows the unstable relationship of a couple and the consequences they deal with following the invitation of a neighbor into their bed.
“Love is strange. How can something so wonderful bring such a great pain”
10. M A U V A I S S A N G
Leos Carax (1986)
A sexually transmitted disease is plaguing all those who have emotionless sex; the most affected cohort being teens! Two young crooks are given an ultimatum to steal the vaccine against the wretched diseases. Mauvais Sang portrays a true understanding of human connection. With sequences amongst the most exhilarating of all cinema, this film oozes personality.
“Quick, before the depression takes over.”