Love, lust and obsession with DEATHBYROMY - A GATA Valentines Special

For Valentine’s Day, we caught up with DeathbyRomy on romance as ritual, devotion as power play, and why being mutually obsessed is the only love language that matters. Roses for strangers, steak for the girls, and a heart forever bleeding beautifully.

GATA: Tell us more about your BDSM song! Why did you chose that title?

ROMY: BDSM is my raw romantic heart served on a plate vulnerable and open for all to take a bite. It’s my favorite song I’ve made in a while it feels so nostalgic and new all at once and the video I’ve made for it is truly the most incredible thing I’ve ever made. I chose the title because of the different power play dynamic I touch on in the song being a bit inconsistent and very switch like….at the end of the day it’s me baring all for love as I always do and getting a bit crazy with it. It’s a plea to be met with the same kind of relentless and vulnerable love that I give and so desire myself.

GATA: What are you doing this year for Valentine’s Day?

ROMY: This year for Valentine’s Day I will be handcuffing myself to one of those bridges in Paris where lovers leave locks as a proclamation for their limitless love for each other and handing out roses to strangers. I’m also gonna take the girls in my band and on my tour team to a nice dinner 🤍 may my steak be rare and buttery!

GATA: Valentine’s date fit?

ROMY: I’ve had a few looks made custom by two incredible designers the first being Maya Klingelschmidt and the second being Elena Lark!!! One look is this beautiful tattered white nightie with a black lace mask, and the other a very Lolita baby doll dress all in pink and lace with a matching eye patch. Both designers women , of course. This valentines for me is all about myself and my girls.

GATA: Would you say you’re a romantic person?

ROMY: Absolutely through and through. Tirelessly and effortlessly I am a romantic to my core. I have been since I was a little girl and I just can’t help it, I love love and I love making others feel loved and seen and honored as we all deserve to.

GATA: Do you think obsession is romantic, or dangerous?

ROMY: I think it’s romantic!!! Not to say it can’t be dangerous too but 🤷🏻‍♀️ if we’re not mutually obsessed I don’t want it.

GATA: Do you think love hurts, or that experiencing love through pain is in some way the purest or most honest form of it?

ROMY: Only love that feels wasted or in vain hurts. But truthfully no love is wasted love. So I guess you could say the pain that comes from it is pure. I think the purest love is the love that cradles you while you are in pain already, at your lowest the love that picked you up broken and ugly and all is the most honest form of it. For me that’s been the love of my mother 🤍

GATA: How do you see the relationship between love, desire, and suffering?

ROMY: Unfortunately they are all interconnected like three evil sisters. Without desire there is no love and when the desire isn’t rewarded or satiated it brings suffering. I wish to say that you can definitely have love and desire without suffering but they do often come together like horsemen in a way.

GATA: What would you receive today as a present?

ROMY: I don’t think I’m getting shit tbh but I’m better at giving gifts than I am receiving them -hence why I’ll be giving roses to strangers. If one gives me a flower or a smile in return that will be enough.

GATA: Let’s talk red flags, some can be sexy at times. Which one do you secretly fall for?

ROMY: It’s become clear to me that I must subconsciously love taking care of broken people. Broken is not a diss, or a word of shame. But……I definitely have very motherly natural instincts and am a caretaker through and through and I have a soft spoken for broken people. It’s like seeing a baby bird with an injuring I can’t look away I must help it. But a red flag I fall for is love bombing unfortunately….I’m such an incredible and gorgeous human that like this seems like the only fair reaction to meeting me.

GATA: Power play: control or be controlled?

ROMY: Control. I’m a sub but only I put myself there so I am always in control.

GATA: Who is your secret famous crush?

ROMY: I never have celebrity crushes, and I don’t have secrets but I love Hunter Schafer SO MUCH. And Kim Petras. When I was little I loved Paul Dano in little Miss sunshine and I thought Jacob Elordi was hot after Frankenstein ONLY but that was short lived.